I left my heart...in...Valparaiso?

Ciber Cafe Seaman`s Center (yes, I spelled Seaman correctly)
Valparaiso, Chile



Bienvenidos a Chile.
Or as Santiagans like to say,
¿Como `tai Hueòn?
Which means...well, nevermind...my mom has to read this blog. Mom, it means how are you my very close friend.

Anyway, the last four days have gone by very very fast. I´ve covered some ground.
From driving through the Andes to view the highest peak in the Americas:


(Acon-who-gua? Acon-ga-gua. Whatever, I´m freezing, can I get back in the bus now please?)

To cooking with master barbecuer Cèsar, learning how to properly turn the Bife de Chorizo, and how to convert vegetarians over to the magic of grass-feed Argentinian beef:



To visiting three incredible wineries in the Uco Valley of Mendoza:



Wednesday I took a tour called Ampora. I had read about it online somewhere, and after hearing about what it consisted of (very small groups with an English-speaking wine guide designed to visit three very different wineries, including a gourmet lunch overlooking vineyards), I decided to bypass the hostel-run tour of 17 wineries in one day and go for this with my new homey, Kelly from Miami. Kelly and I had met in Puerto Madryn a couple of weeks ago and happened to be heading to the same areas after that - El Calafate, Mendoza. It´s been fun hanging with her as she´s been someone to enjoy these tours with, and of course bounce my horrible jokes off of.



Touring Mendoza`s wineries to me is like what touring Napa might have been 40 years ago. We didn´t see one bus. We drove down rocky roads. We saw a group of four visitors eating lunch at another table at the LAST winery of the day. Other than that, we were it. No Nike Outlets either.

We started small - going to family run Estancia Ancòn. This was a winery that used to have the capacity to produce 10 million bottles of wine a year. 10 million! But with technological advances changing the way wine was produced (and cost) the family decided to sell off 90 percent of their vineyards and only sell premium wines. So they only produce 50,000 bottles a year now. Apparently these guys are good. Their Malbec is considered top 10 in Argentina and their Cabernet has won many medals competing against wineries all over the world. I bought a bottle of their top 10 Malbec for 40 pesos (about $13).

The next winery was a bit bigger...called Andeluna. This winery was run by an Argentine family and owned by a guy named Ward Lay, yes, of the Frito-Lay/Pepsico empire. All the latest technology, but still maintaining a classic look and feel of the winery, with free Cheetos for every bottle bought. Kidding.

Our tour guide was awesome - Maria, from Mendoza. She had started doing wine tours in January and had been tasting wine every day for 9 months. What a job. She´s on the right. Our Andeluna tour guide Jessica is on the left.



And here is Jeff. Of Jeff and Midge, the other two on our tour. Jeff and Midge (sounds like a folk group) are lawyers from Houston. Jeff and Midge live large. Jeff and Midge asked me which hotel I was staying at. I told Jeff and Midge I was staying at a hostel in a rough part of town. Jeff and Midge made weird faces. Then Jeff and Midge said their hotel was fabulous and that Carlos, their cabana boy at the hotel, deserved his 7 peso tip for carrying their luggage all around. Jeff and Midge everyone! (Midge not shown)



The third winery was what a winery looks like in the year 2050. It was called O`Fournier.
The design of the winery won an architectural award for best design. I don´t know, looks like an airport control tower to me:



It´s a pretty amazing place. It´s the creation of (former) economist Josè Manuel Ortega Gil-Fournier. And you thought Malcolm Jamal-Warner was a long name. This guy apparently did pretty well and decided to try the wine business out. You can buy a hectare of land here in Mendoza for about $20,000 US. That´s for three acres. In prime wine country. Try that in Napa. So this guy had some money to burn and built an incredible winery. Here is the barrel room. Does this look like a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark to anyone else? Shortly after this picture was taken, Indy showed up and placed a staff on the `X` on the floor, and a light shined through it to reveal the hidden city of Breadsticks for the tasting room:



Here´s lunch. I´m almost done with the steaks for a few years, but how can you turn this down. By the way, the economist`s wife, Nadia, is the chef.



A great day at wineries. And so after all that wine, Kelly and I got a bite at this place called Azafran. We sat down and ordered our food, and then asked to see a wine list. No wine list. Instead, Leonardo, the sommelier, came to our table and had us get up and follow him to the wine cellar where he helped us pick out a bottle. This is how it should be done!

Here Leonardo is presenting the bottle I chose - a very nice 2007 Charles Shaw Malbec. Except here they don`t call it Two Buck Chuck. They call it Two Peso Pedro. What taste!



The next morning I got in a cab and headed to the airport. I had decided to fly to Santiago from Mendoza, to save time and not have to drive through the windy and windy (prounounced differently) roads. It was an $89 flight. After I got off my flight (it was 28 minutes. for their in-flight service, the attendants passed out a piece of caramel), I walked through the airport and was directed to a cashier where I was informed that I had to pay $100US (it´s a reciprocity thing). So close to $200 for 28 minutes of flying. The bus would have been $30 (no $100 reciprocity fee) and taken like 6 hours max. Plus, on the plane someone showed me the spot where the Uruguayan Rugby team crashed and had to eat each other to survive. Taking a plane was a great idea!

I had to take a picture of this at the airport. `Sir, do you have any contraband in your bags? Any cheese? Any fruit? How about turtles, you got any turtles in your purse maam? Don´t mess with me, we`ll bring over the turtle-sniffing dogs and send you right back to Argentina. Hold on...Sir, what´s that in your bag? Open it please...let`s see...an AK-47 and some sort of Toucan-Puma hybrid. Okay, let him through. Maam seriously, there better not be a turtle in your purse.`



Santiago I heard was a VERY smoggy, dirty, unfriendly city.
But sometimes you just have to see for yourself. It was completely the opposite.
The sun was shining. The air was clear, the streets were incredibly clean, and the people way friendly.

Here is the main walkway through the city center. Lots of fully-uniformed police and guards around for safety. And the entire street is wired with a stereo system that plays 80s American pop, but the elevator intstrumental version. And loud. So it´s funny watching two dudes dressed in full police riot gear, with batons and guns, trying to look really tough and imposing, and watching them walk in stride together while Wham`s `Careless Whisper`plays.



I caught a lot of board games in the streets. Chess, checkers. And lots of people watching and some were actually coaching. Here is Chile´s checkers version of Texas Tech basketball coach Bobby Knight, Braulio Knight. Check out the signature green sweater. Braulio is showing the guy in the windbreaker the correct move. A few seconds after I took this picture Braulio started yelling at the windbreaker guy and threw three of his captured blue checkers at him for making a bad move. The windbreaker guy´s parents saw the whole thing on TV and are suing Braulio for assault.



I did manage to see my first museum on the trip. How´s that for culture?
I actually made a point of seeing this exhibit, the Precolumbian Art museum, all art from South and Central America, pre-dating 1492. There were Mayan exhibits, Aztec, Toltec, Mapuche, Inca.



Here is some Mayan art. The one pic I got while the guards weren´t looking. An impressive collection of pottery, textiles, and stone carvings. There were items here from 3,000 BC. One of the most fascinating exhibits I´ve seen anywhere.



And my hostel was great too. Great area, and got a cheap private room (what a snob) for like $30 bucks.

As I was checking in, I started talking to this couple, Mike and Gina Lynn, ski and snowboard instructors from Angel Fire, New Mexico (can you say hallucinogenics?). Anyway, they were really cool and on the spur of the moment they asked me to join them for a traditional Chilean dinner with their friends who were locals.

We went to a place called Caramaño, a very traditional place tucked down a narrow street. I had bone marrow as an appetizer. Yeah, let´s move on.

There I met some really cool people and learned some Chilean Spanish, which is insane. They remove all the `s`from words that end in `s.` And then change it more. Like Como Estas is Como tai.

Anyway, from left to right below:

Sebastian - from Santiago, worked at a ski resort with Mike and Gina Lynn called Colorado outside of Santiago this past winter. He´s heading to Squaw Valley this winter to work at the resort.

Simon - from England. Today was his first day in South America - is going to be here a year to rock climb, surf, and volunteer - met him at the hostel.

Mike - from New Mexico. Snowboard instructor. Nuts.

Julian - from Santiago, met Mike in Taos, where they worked together as Snowboard instructors 6 years ago. Now is a psychiatrist and looks EXACTLY like Adam Sandler. He got pissed when I told him I liked it when he punched Bob Barker in Happy Gilmore.

Gina Lynn - from New Mexico. Ski instructor and a trip...she´s very nice and friendly, but she constantly looks like she´s enjoying everything a little more than everyone else.

Dan - SF, unemployed!

Francisco - from Viña del Mar on the coast near Valparaiso. An artist and will be coming to SF in late November traveling around the US. I kept calling him Don Francisco or the Don. That´s what Pisco sour does to you people.

Irma - from Santiago, and Francisco´s girlfriend.



We had a great dinner. And went to a bar after called the Backstage. It was essentially the Hard Rock Cafe, with an acoustic guitar logo instead of an electric guitar. Here Mike proceeded to get LOADED! He added Pisco to Red Bull and said `hey look everyone! a new drink...the Bull Piss! Ha ha!` Okay, Mike.

I commented on his ring. And he pulled out his card, apparently the ES stood for something like Experience Snowboards, his company. Tonight though we got to ¨Experience¨the crazy side of Mike!



Here Simon (on the right) decides he´s experienced enough of Mike, and calls it a night.


The next morning I had to get up early to take a bus to Valparaiso. And I was a little hung over, so I turned on the tv and found EXACTLY what everyone needs to see when you are hung over on a weekend...Beverly Hills 90210 reruns, dubbed in Spanish. What a treat. This was the episode where Donna helps Ray overcome his stage fright. And the Peach Pit after Dark opens. In Spanish. Go Ray. Play that guitar for Donna.



Here´s my bus to Valparaiso. Minus the Olympus Camera thief!



Valparaiso is a beautiful city on the Pacific Ocean. It has been called `Jewel of the Pacific`by visitors and people compare it to San Francisco, for the hills and the climate. It actually does remind me of SF, but also with Spain and Italy mixed in. Very friendly town.



Here is a view reminiscent a little of my hood in SF.



Lots of cobblestoned streets with artists and musicians.



A lunch place in the area of my hostel - Cerro Concepciòn.



A place I went for dinner last night. Not because they speak my language, but I thought it was pretty funny. What was the genesis of this sign. Did enough people walk into the restaurant and say things like: `Excuse me, my wife and I were thinking of dining here tonight, your menu looks really good, but we were wondering if you spoke our language. That`s really the deciding factor here. Do you speak our language? Do you?`


I got a great night´s rest. The hostel is on top of Cerro Concepcion and overlooks the Ocean. The house I´m staying in is run by the Chilean Alfred Hitchcock. He looks and talks like him, if Alfred Hitchcock was Chilean and 60. His mother sits in the kitchen all day way down the hall and yells at her son - I can´t see her, but she´s gotta be about 90. Interesting though, she sounds a little like him. I´ll try to get a pic before I leave of both of them, or before I get an axe in my forehead at the top of the stairs by the son dressed like his mom. Whichever comes first.

So this morning I get up and walk into town. The hills are really steep, so in the early 1900s they built these Ascencors, or hill elevators. Pretty cool looking. So I decided to check it out:



I saw this sign as I was getting into the car. Cool. Wait, most endangered of 1996? Sounds like not kept up to me. But come on, there´s a guy working it and it´s the signature of this town. It looks legit.



As I stepped onto the thing, the operator shut the rusted metal door in my face. No escape. It was scarier than any roller coaster I´ve been on. The whole thing is made of balsa wood I´m convinced. it was shaking the whole time down, and the cables that held me from plummeting hundreds of feet to my death were wanting to sever. And so I hung on for dear life for what seemed like hours. But it really was only about 9 seconds. And the cous de gras, $.50 cents. Can I pay more please so you can renovate it a little, or maybe shut it down and put an Outback Steakhouse here?



I´m heading to Viña del Mar today and then back to Santiago and a 24hour bus tonight at 7pm. I´m headed to the Northern Chilean desert to see more nature.
Have a great weekend everyone!